“Who I Am and Why I’m Here.”

For some reason, today seemed like a really good day to start a blog.  It’s a thought I’ve had multiple times before but never bothered to follow through with.  I absolutely love to write but never seem to have anything worth saying.  Or, at the very least, I feel like nothing I have to say will be worth anything to anyone else.  And I suppose that’s just fine.  I don’t spend every single day worrying about how my words will affect someone — or even if anyone really wants to hear them.  These are MY thoughts.  I’m welcome to them, just like the next person.  And despite the fact that I’m almost sure nobody will bother to read this, I’m still going to share my thoughts with you.

Now, I know that I’m supposed to introduce myself.  That’s Blogging 101.  So here it goes ; My name is Kelli.  I’m a thirty-two year old from Pennsylvania.  I’m incredibly close with my family (though they don’t really live near by anymore).  I work as a cake decorator and absolutely love what I do, just not where I do it.  I live with my boyfriend and his parents, for now.  We’re planning to move down near my family next year.  They live in Florida.

My family has always accused me of being horrible with change.  I was planning to go with them three years ago when they all moved South but at the last-minute, I changed my mind.  This was probably the first decision I’d made that was entirely my own .. in my whole life.   Which is sad, I know.

Three years ago, I loved where I worked.  My boss was awesome.  My co-workers were amazing.  They were basically my second family, so I felt comfortable staying behind.  With the years I had in at my job, the benefits that I really couldn’t see walking away from, and the fact that my boyfriend and I had just gotten more serious .. well, you can understand why I wasn’t really jumping on the Florida bandwagon.

But since then?  My boss was transferred to another store.  Most of my co-workers have quit.  And the new guy in charge?  Kind of a lazy bum.  Don’t get me wrong.  He’s a nice guy and he’s been doing his job for a long time, so he definitely knows what he’s doing.  He just doesn’t really like to do it most of the time.

That I can put up with.  But the whole company that I work for has begun to change in ways that I’m no longer comfortable with.  They don’t treat their employees with any amount of respect.  Too much is expected from a person and people get hurt, then replaced.  Everyone is too focused on the profit margin, which would be larger if people enjoyed their work and felt appreciated — but that’s not something you can tell people anymore.  The execs run the show, and we little people?  We don’t matter.

I’m not entirely sure how I got off on that tangent but I digress.  My family thinks that I hate change.  I don’t hate change, nor am I afraid of it.  I have my comfort zone just like the next person.  I’d rather stay in that comfort zone until I’m pushed out of it, yes.  But that doesn’t mean I’m afraid of what comes next!

My boyfriend and I are actually planning to move at the beginning of next year.  Or rather, towards March or April of next year.  This will give us ample time to get everything packed up, save some money, and find jobs down by my family.

I’ve never lived anywhere other than the city I live in now.  The furthest from home that I’ve been is Massachusetts and Florida.  I’ve never left the East Coast.  I don’t like flying but I love trains.  I don’t have a passport, but I’d like to get one over the Summer so that I can visit Canada while I’m still close to the border.

I’m a big girl with body issues.  My self-esteem could do with a boost but that’s not why I’m here.  Or, maybe it’s partially why I’m here.  I need to learn to be okay with myself and who I am.  This will give me an outlet to talk about things that are bothering me or even things I’ve discovered that I like about myself.

There are, actually, lots of things I like about myself.  It’s just that none of them have anything to do with my body image.  And I’ve decided that it’s time I learn to accept myself for who I am on the outside just as much as I accept who I am on the inside.  Thank you to Project Beautiful and all of the other little things people around the world are doing to be more body positive.

I’m a nerd.  I love books.  My favorite place in the world is a corner table at Barnes & Noble.  I will most likely discuss books on here frequently.  I’m by no means an English major, so don’t expect me to use all the fancy words from Lit class or discuss some kind of hidden meaning the author may well have been aiming for.  Chances are?  I’m just gonna give you a break down of the book and whether or not I liked it.  Woohoo, five stars!  That kind of thing.

I also really love movies.  Especially horror movies.  But don’t think my blog title is solely for the love of one specific horror movie.  I actually ‘grew up’ on Elm Street.  I used to joke with my friends that I was the real nightmare.  But, that’s neither here nor there!  You can expect that I will talk about movies almost as frequently as I’ll discuss books.  Probably more so, since I watch faster than I read.

I actually made a list of topics today that I’d like to blog about.  Hopefully I’ll keep up with this thing.  It already feels incredibly cathartic, though it’s basically like talking to myself.

Right.  So there’s me in a nutshell — if I could fit in a nutshell.  Which I can’t.  I’m sure there’s a lot more that I could say about myself but if I said everything right now, would there really be a point to coming back and blogging about something else later?  No, probably not.  So I’ll just end it here.  Or here.  Or ..

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